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Access my storybook here

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  1. Hey Adam!

    I really like how well you have started your storybook. The first thing I would work on for your actual google site is adding an image background behind your storybook title. Your actual title for your google site is good, though! It is direct and straight to the point on what the storybook will be about. Indeed, Bhima is a very strong and dedicated character in the Mahabharata. Your introduction page was pretty good as well. I really like how you said, "keep reading and I will tell you all my ways." That statement really sets in what the storybook's purpose is for being written. Your second and third paragraphs in your introduction page are also great! I like how you mentioned a time period of his life that you will be going in deeper detail with. You also basically mentioned the three big storylines you will be using to make up the storybook with, which is a good idea, so the reader is able to add context to the reading before they go into it. I also visited the sources you provided for your storybook. I recommend adding a little bit of detail of what the source is and what it is for. This way, people are more likely to use them. This would help the readers most likely understand your storybook better. Overall, the storybook project is looking good!

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  2. Hi Adam, I think you are at a great starting point for your Storybook site and that the layout is very aesthetically pleasing, easy to navigate, and read. I appreciate you for that! Your idea to create a journal for Bhima through your Storybook is genius and you will have so much leverage when it comes to writing stories each week. Since Bhima has mighty physical strength, I think your idea to dig deeper into his mental strength is really creative. Strength comes in all different forms, and sometimes when individuals take too much pride in their physical capabilities, they often neglect their mental game. I think this is an important piece to carry with you as you use your creative writing to verbalize Bhima's experiences. Each of the three topics you are covering is the key component of his being. I am curious to see how you approach each topic. I think it will be important to emphasize his ego, but also allow his insecurities shine through, whether it be with women, men, or spirits, the main character must show some sort of weakness to keep the story flowing. I can't wait to see where you go with this project, awesome job so far!

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  3. Hi Adam, I love your idea of Bhima writing a journal reflecting on his mighty adventures! Bhima also plays a role in my storybook on Ghatotkacha; he marries a rakshasi, Hidimbi, defying many of the conventional norms in Indian epics about marriage and love. I think Bhima is a really awesome character in this regard and I'm so excited to read your project on Bhima. One thing that I really love about your first story is that rather than just focusing on Bhima's mightiness and valor, you are also bringing out his inner battles with loneliness and being outcasted by his cousins. I think it adds a lot of depth to his character and makes him more relatable for the readers. It is important that we don't just judge someone by their outward appearances and actions - we should try to go deeper and understand what makes them the way they are. I think it would be really cool if you continue to portray Bhima in this way and explore his inner feelings in your other stories. Great work!

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  4. Hey, Adam!

    I think that it was really interesting that you decided to write this storybook from the perspective of Bhima. As you know, one of the most powerful tools in storytelling is the POV. I think that there are a few headers that could use some attention. (Specifically the intro: "Origins of My Strength" would work better, in my opinion. Specifically for the character of Bhima, putting his narration when he's older and (hopefully) wiser is a great idea. This way, we really get to see the dynamic aspect of his character arc over time. Of course, the journal format is not without challenges. It can be harder to notate dialogue in a journal format, which presents a challenge to the author. I believe that you can find a way to balance these aspects in order to create a balanced storybook. I would also advise taking a fine-tooth comb and going over spelling and grammar just to ensure accuracy.

    Cheers,
    Chris

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  5. Hey Adam!

    You did a really good job on your storybook. I like the layout on your website, it is very pleasing. I like the creative idea to show a more grown-up and wiser form of Bhima. This gave you the freedom to take the story in your own course, which you did. Your title on the story is strong and shows insight to your story, which was very good. It would be a great idea to grow on this plot and story for your next story. Maybe ask yourself questions on how you can build your characters from flat to dynamic characters. This would help elevate your writing skills as well as your storybook. Overall I think you did a great job for your starting story, and I cannot wait to see how you escalate your storybook. I would recommend reading over your story and revising for grammatical errors. I make these same grammatical errors so I know the feeling.

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  6. Hi Adam!
    I enjoyed Bhima's character so I'm glad that you decided to go in-depth on his story. I love the voice that his character has in this story as well. It's so commanding and seems to fit his story so well.
    My suggestion, which is truly based on opinion, would be to have your stories from here on out take the form of motivational speeches on the part of Bhima. I really enjoyed your first story where Bhima talks to his audience and gives them advice based on the things that he has learned over the years. It would be so cool for this Storybook to follow the trend wherein Bhima tells the story of his life from his position as an old man and gives advice from those experiences. It would also be kind of funny for him to serve as a motivational, Confucius-like advice giver.
    You did a good job of crafting his voice in this story. Good job!

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  7. Hello Adam.
    I love the way you being your first story! It is filled with a promise of exciting stories, which is great for making readers want to continue reading. Your first person perspective is done well. I personally enjoy writing positive and humorous characters in first person. It is so much easier than writing angst in first person. Your character seems very friendly, light-hearted, innocent, and positive. This is interesting because he is obviously experienced, so he cannot be that innocent. However I got a sense of purity from his story-telling. He will be a great person to read about.

    I like your intro. It is brief and succinct! It is cool how you put the different life periods that you plan on writing about. It gives us something to look forward too!

    I can't wait to read your next story, and I hope everything goes super smoothly for you. These storybook/portfolio projects are the best part of Laura's classes. I hope you enjoy creating yours and gain lots from it.

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  8. Hey Adam, super nice to see someone I know in the class. Your first story about Bhima and his struggles was really intriguing and you could feel the adversity that he had gone through on a personal level. As we both are from immigrant parents, it was easy for me to relate to the story and I knew from the beginning what the purpose of writing this was. You did a fantastic job in informing the reader about the mishaps that Bhima had went through, and how it all eventually shaped him into a greater man today. I think we both can definitely relate to that, being different from the many other people in the country. I think it could be cool if you added some dialogue between Bhima and another character, perhaps Nagas. Other than that, you did a great job and keep up the good work.

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  9. Hey Adam!

    Your epics of India project is looking good. I really like how you put so much thought and character into Bhima. Bhima is my favorite from the Pandavas because of how brave he is. I am so glad that you were able to depict that. I think the best part of your story is how the theme is more than just for Bhima. You sent a clear message about self investment and how far it can take you. Bhima was the perfect character to use to show this. Your serpent analogy was also great. Indeed, they are very small creatures, but they heavily feared. Furthermore, I suggest you re-order your tabs on your google site. You should put the home page, the intro, then the story about Bhima so it is chronologically aligned. Also, I recommend adding a little bit more detail in your introduction page so readers know what the storybook is about. Overall, your project is very intriguing and I look forward to reading more from you.

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  10. Hey Adam!
    I just finished reading your introduction of the story of young Bhima! It is really looking great so far! Your choice of design and layout are very fitting to the theme and project. Bhima seems to be a very strong fellow, especially if he grew up with serpents. I thought it was a neat idea t o do the story in a narrative form. It really lets the reader get a look at Bhima's personality and his way of great confidence. It was also a great idea that you chose to include a message from Bhima to the readers of his journal! It made the story a lot more personable. I also read the intro portion and it really hooked the readers into coming back to know more of his secrets! I was just wondering why you put that after the story of young bhima since it seems to try to introduce and entice the reader for more. Great job on your story so far! I hope to read more of Bhimas story and his very confident point of view!

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  11. Hey Adam, your website is looking great and it seems like you have put a great amount of work into making it this way. After reading your introduction, I wanted to tell you how smart it is to use the narrative outlook because there are endless possibilities for storytelling and you will be able to use your creative writing skills to display the strength of Bhima throughout his life. Your writing is enticing and I think your humor will make your website super unique. Your writing seems so effortless, especially in your second story about young Bhima. Introducing the main character allows the readers to connect and understand the qualities of the characters, especially as the stories progress. I think you picked three of the most important stories that Bhima is featured in and each of them has great potential to become a strong story; I cannot wait to read more of your stories!

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  12. Hi Adam! I only read the introduction for your story, but I think you have a really great starting point, and I see you've made more progress on your story already. I really love the layout of your site, and I think that it's super easy to navigate and has a nice aesthetic. I'm not sure if you are able to add navigation tabs at the top of the page, but that might be a nice addition if you could! I really like the idea of using journal entries from an older perspective. The characters that we have read about have so much depth to them, but at the same time, we don't get a lot of information on most of them, so it's exciting to see everyone add another layer. I think if you shortened your intro a bit, just because I feel like there is some information that we will learn throughout the story that could be cut, but I think it looks great!

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  13. Hey Adam,
    This was a really great story as well as the introduction, I think you did a really great job. I think the best part is that you're telling from the perspective of Bhima. I really enjoy reading stories from a different point of view and you did it exactly right. For this week I am meant to focus on images and I can say that yours definitely do a great job of grabbing my attention. Your caption, as well as, the image does a great job of introducing the fact that you're telling from Bhima's perspective. I found it really neat that your caption was "An image taken of me with my serpent friends". One place I think you'd benefit from an intriguing image is on your home page. Using an image in the header other than the theme image would be a great addition and make your site stand out.

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  14. Hi Adam,
    I really enjoyed the way you portrayed Bhima's character so I'm glad that you decided to go in-depth on his story. I love the voice that his character has in this story also. It's so commanding and seems to fit his story so well. Bhima seems very friendly, light-hearted, innocent, and positive. This is interesting because he is obviously experienced, so he shouldn't be that innocent. One thing that I particularly enjoyed about your first story is that rather than just focusing on Bhima's mightiness and valor, you also brought out his inner battles with loneliness and being outcast by his cousins. Keep up the great work!

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  15. Hey Adam! I think it is really awesome that you chose Bhima to be your character of interest in your project. I myself wrote my own version of a Bhima tale for one of the weekly stories, and I grew pretty fond of my version of Bhima. Your Bhima however seems to be a bit more friendly and kind hearted though. I like seeing the different perspectives of all these characters depending on who is writing. I think your take on Bhima is really swell. he is a very likeable character, and I would love to experience a long journey with him as the main hero!

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  16. Hi! I just read your story and I thought it was really good! I thought that your inclusion of morose themes was very poignant, the part where Bhima is warning against regret with his last words was very intense. I thought that you did a good job of imparting the sentiments of regret and of sadness, also of loneliness. I enjoyed your story a lot- good job!

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