Comment Wall

 20+ Free Storybook & Fantasy Photos - Pixabay

                                           (Pixabay)

Access my storybook here

Comments

  1. Hey Adam!

    I really like how well you have started your storybook. The first thing I would work on for your actual google site is adding an image background behind your storybook title. Your actual title for your google site is good, though! It is direct and straight to the point on what the storybook will be about. Indeed, Bhima is a very strong and dedicated character in the Mahabharata. Your introduction page was pretty good as well. I really like how you said, "keep reading and I will tell you all my ways." That statement really sets in what the storybook's purpose is for being written. Your second and third paragraphs in your introduction page are also great! I like how you mentioned a time period of his life that you will be going in deeper detail with. You also basically mentioned the three big storylines you will be using to make up the storybook with, which is a good idea, so the reader is able to add context to the reading before they go into it. I also visited the sources you provided for your storybook. I recommend adding a little bit of detail of what the source is and what it is for. This way, people are more likely to use them. This would help the readers most likely understand your storybook better. Overall, the storybook project is looking good!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Adam, I think you are at a great starting point for your Storybook site and that the layout is very aesthetically pleasing, easy to navigate, and read. I appreciate you for that! Your idea to create a journal for Bhima through your Storybook is genius and you will have so much leverage when it comes to writing stories each week. Since Bhima has mighty physical strength, I think your idea to dig deeper into his mental strength is really creative. Strength comes in all different forms, and sometimes when individuals take too much pride in their physical capabilities, they often neglect their mental game. I think this is an important piece to carry with you as you use your creative writing to verbalize Bhima's experiences. Each of the three topics you are covering is the key component of his being. I am curious to see how you approach each topic. I think it will be important to emphasize his ego, but also allow his insecurities shine through, whether it be with women, men, or spirits, the main character must show some sort of weakness to keep the story flowing. I can't wait to see where you go with this project, awesome job so far!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Adam, I love your idea of Bhima writing a journal reflecting on his mighty adventures! Bhima also plays a role in my storybook on Ghatotkacha; he marries a rakshasi, Hidimbi, defying many of the conventional norms in Indian epics about marriage and love. I think Bhima is a really awesome character in this regard and I'm so excited to read your project on Bhima. One thing that I really love about your first story is that rather than just focusing on Bhima's mightiness and valor, you are also bringing out his inner battles with loneliness and being outcasted by his cousins. I think it adds a lot of depth to his character and makes him more relatable for the readers. It is important that we don't just judge someone by their outward appearances and actions - we should try to go deeper and understand what makes them the way they are. I think it would be really cool if you continue to portray Bhima in this way and explore his inner feelings in your other stories. Great work!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hey, Adam!

    I think that it was really interesting that you decided to write this storybook from the perspective of Bhima. As you know, one of the most powerful tools in storytelling is the POV. I think that there are a few headers that could use some attention. (Specifically the intro: "Origins of My Strength" would work better, in my opinion. Specifically for the character of Bhima, putting his narration when he's older and (hopefully) wiser is a great idea. This way, we really get to see the dynamic aspect of his character arc over time. Of course, the journal format is not without challenges. It can be harder to notate dialogue in a journal format, which presents a challenge to the author. I believe that you can find a way to balance these aspects in order to create a balanced storybook. I would also advise taking a fine-tooth comb and going over spelling and grammar just to ensure accuracy.

    Cheers,
    Chris

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hey Adam!

    You did a really good job on your storybook. I like the layout on your website, it is very pleasing. I like the creative idea to show a more grown-up and wiser form of Bhima. This gave you the freedom to take the story in your own course, which you did. Your title on the story is strong and shows insight to your story, which was very good. It would be a great idea to grow on this plot and story for your next story. Maybe ask yourself questions on how you can build your characters from flat to dynamic characters. This would help elevate your writing skills as well as your storybook. Overall I think you did a great job for your starting story, and I cannot wait to see how you escalate your storybook. I would recommend reading over your story and revising for grammatical errors. I make these same grammatical errors so I know the feeling.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi Adam!
    I enjoyed Bhima's character so I'm glad that you decided to go in-depth on his story. I love the voice that his character has in this story as well. It's so commanding and seems to fit his story so well.
    My suggestion, which is truly based on opinion, would be to have your stories from here on out take the form of motivational speeches on the part of Bhima. I really enjoyed your first story where Bhima talks to his audience and gives them advice based on the things that he has learned over the years. It would be so cool for this Storybook to follow the trend wherein Bhima tells the story of his life from his position as an old man and gives advice from those experiences. It would also be kind of funny for him to serve as a motivational, Confucius-like advice giver.
    You did a good job of crafting his voice in this story. Good job!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hello Adam.
    I love the way you being your first story! It is filled with a promise of exciting stories, which is great for making readers want to continue reading. Your first person perspective is done well. I personally enjoy writing positive and humorous characters in first person. It is so much easier than writing angst in first person. Your character seems very friendly, light-hearted, innocent, and positive. This is interesting because he is obviously experienced, so he cannot be that innocent. However I got a sense of purity from his story-telling. He will be a great person to read about.

    I like your intro. It is brief and succinct! It is cool how you put the different life periods that you plan on writing about. It gives us something to look forward too!

    I can't wait to read your next story, and I hope everything goes super smoothly for you. These storybook/portfolio projects are the best part of Laura's classes. I hope you enjoy creating yours and gain lots from it.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular Posts